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Jeff’s birthday paddle

After winning the prestigious Mark Twain-Jackson prize for humor in a kayak birthday blog in 2023, Jeff descended into a crippling bout of geezeritis. Symptoms of geezeritis include aching joints, the sinking suspicion that you can no longer keep up with your kayaking buddies, and most devastating of all, the inability to get it up on a stern squirt.

Come join these renowned kayakers as we help raise awareness for geezeritis:

Tim Tau - Jeff, when did you start boating? …. Wow, that’s about when I was born. [Thanks, Tim.]

Chi Tran - Oh, I hope I never get geezeritis. Wait, where did I put my keys? I know they are around here somewhere. And, where is my sweater and tea? I’m going to take a nap now. 

Jack Asuncion-Reed - I never really thought about geezeritis until one day when Mateo said, “Sorry, Dad, you are not good enough to come on this trip….. and may I have the car keys?”

Lars Freeman-Wood - geezeritis? No, tales of me and my giant blue ox Babe are timeless.

Jeremy Wells - geezeritis or not, I still have the most smoking hot girlfriend in the kayaking community.

Jeena Waggoner - Jeremy is so smart! He always knows the perfect thing to say.

Martin Fryer - F@#$ you, Jeff. I told you not to put me on the geezeritis list.

James Lloyd - I know I look like I was carved by Michelangelo, but I’m actually quite old.

Cassandra Laitila - I take medicine for geezeritis. It is called cocaine.

Jon Almquist - I could see the early signs of geezeritis a few years ago. I used to run around the takeout wild and completely carefree. Increasingly people people are saying, “Jon, could you please put on some clothes?”

Shanna Hoge Gatchen - I don’t have time to think about geezeritis. I’m too busy posting Facebook pictures of my adorable grandchildren.

Michael Deckert - geezeritis? No, my species of river elf can usually live a good 400 to 500 years. I’m just getting started!

Werner Paddles - we are sorry Mr. Hunt but we cannot repair your paddle under warranty. Maybe you might be interested in our Beater line of paddles with extra reenforcement in the grip area to withstand your white knuckle terror on even the simplest rapids.

  Dane Jackson - please stop wearing my signature line of Icon drysuits. You are really hurting the brand.

Eric Jackson - No. Falling in the water and rolling back up is not a ‘playboating 360’ move.

Edith Han - Jeff, you neglected to mention another symptom of geezeritis, the inability to differentiate between Asian paddlers.

James Laitila - another symptom of geezeritis is the constant references to movie lines from the 80’s. Isn’t that right, Mike? You know, Mike Hunt from that movie …”

Aaron King - I hear you about the geezeritis, Jeff. I was throwing down hands only cartwheels in rodeo hole the other day. I have to admit I got a little winded and sore after about 7 hours.
Saturday, January 04, 2025, 10:30 AM until 5:00 PM Pacific Time (US & Canada) (UTC-08:00)

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